Family therapist George Scott urges routines, sleep and school counseling after recent student deaths

At an evening session organized by the South River Public School District, family therapist George Scott urged parents and staff to prioritize predictable routines, uninterrupted sleep and school-based supports to help children cope with grief after two recent student deaths. Scott, who said he works with the Traumatic Loss Coalition and with schools, framed the talk as a community conversation about grief and coping rather than a discussion of case details: "I will not talk specifically about the 2 children who died. That would be very disrespectful of me with the families," he said.

Scott described three types of stress — positive, tolerable and toxic — and warned that prolonged toxic stress can harm both emotional and physical health. "Toxic stress suppresses your immune system," he said, listing common indicators parents and teachers might see: headaches, stomachaches, tardiness, absences, a drop in school work, acute irritability, social withdrawal and, in some cases, bullying or scapegoating. He said such behaviors are often signs that a child is overwhelmed rather than willfully misbehaving.

Scott recommended practical, nonpharmacological steps parents can take at home: restore regular sleep (he cited 7–9 hours of uninterrupted sleep), limit devices and blue-light exposure in the hour before bedtime, re-establish shared mealtimes and routines, encourage movement or exercise, and maintain healthy relationships. "Sleep is number one," he said. He also advised simple gestures of connection — noting an anecdote about a "20‑second hug" that, after initial resistance, led a teenager to ask for another hug days later — to illustrate how attachment can help children feel safe.

For immediate supports, Scott told parents to use school counselors as a first step and to consult pediatricians when physical symptoms persist. He encouraged parents to wait a week or two before seeking formal grief therapy in many cases so family rituals have time to help with processing; if symptoms continue beyond that window he said families should consider outside counseling. He listed crisis resources parents and students can save in their phones, including the national 988 crisis line and the 2nd Floor helpline (888‑222‑2228), and suggested adding those numbers as a short-term safety strategy.

Scott also addressed maladaptive coping: "If you don't know what to do, then sometimes there's a tendency to go right to alcohol or right to marijuana," he said, calling those responses understandable but ultimately harmful in the long term. He emphasized sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation or secular spiritual practices and healthy social ties as foundational supports and said parents should "stay with" gut instincts if they remain worried about a child.

Scott recommended several accessible resources for parents who want to read further, including Dan Siegel's books and research cited by pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris on long-term effects of early adversity. He closed by inviting questions and comments and offered to pause the recording for anyone who preferred privacy. The session did not include a formal vote or administrative action.